I’m not proud of myself for that act but I feel fulfilled. The joy of having life after terminating that pregnancy. Taking that decision wasn’t painful because I was immature compared to today. Anytime I think about my past, I cry. Yes I cry not because I have failed myself but because I have grown beyond my own imaginations.
Before you judge me, get to know how it started first.
As the only child of a broken home, I made several enemies for no better reason. I hated to see my peers or neighbors have fun with their parents. Mum out of pain left the shores of Ghana to seek greener pastures to enable her give me the best of care. Daddy I got to know at age 14 but never enjoyed his care or support until death. I was left in the care of Grandma and an Aunt at age four.
Full of hatred and anger for lack of parental care at that tender age, I became an introvert. I skipped Kindergarten 2 because I got promoted from Kindergarten 1 to Class 1 with a reason of being smarter and brilliant than my peers. My new class had 25 students and I chalked the 17th position after the first term, 5th for the second term and 3rd for the third term. Going through basic education, I hated some two young men; Ronald Osei Begyina (aka Osei Kofi) and Samuel Appiah. I always wanted to attain the 1st position in class but these young men became the obstacles. Transferring the hatred I had for my father onto them was easy and simple. They were just my “Goliath” and I hated them with passion.
Grandma’s daughter, I was never made to do any house chores hence books became my friends. The whole motive was to outshine the young men in my class who thought the first position was their bonafide property. After a long perseverance, my dream came to pass in class 5, third term. Bingo I occupied the 1st position. The excitement on grandma’s face needed no explanation as she fed me with a bowl of jollof and a full egg with a bottle of soft drink. What a joyful sight to behold. One only takes a full bottle of soft drink in my family when it is Christmas.
Every child has a dream. Every parent has a dream for the ward too. My family had the dream of a seamstress but I had the dream of becoming a lawyer. Trading to pay my own senior high school admission fees was one of the crosses I had to carry. The first female to have attended SHS in my family came out a failure and as such none was ready to spend on my education. Help came after my first year when the family realized my determination to be educated.
Society taught me how the judicial service was a revered job for males hence the change in my career pattern. I was pregnant with dreams as a teenager but was vulnerable. No one understood my career focus. A pregnancy I could have nurtured but there was no husband to aid me through that pain. I needed a motivator to understand me without demoralizing me. I loved the baby I carried but the 9 months pregnancy journey was a long, painful and dreadful one for a teenager to embark on. Regardless of my determination, I got tired. I got sick and weak. I gave up. I couldn’t tolerate the pain any longer.
ABORTION, my only remedy.
Yes I had an Abortion. I aborted my dream. The dream of becoming a Lawyer. The dream of being able to defend my family against any litigation. The dream of defending single mothers against the rage of embattled husbands and their families at the Law court. A dream I had to prove my father wrong that females aren’t useless species on earth. Yes society and family turned me into a ‘murderer’. I killed that dream. I didn’t become the lawyer I so much dreamt of.
But thankfully I never lost my womb. I conceived again. Yes I took seed. A baby that is full of uncertainties. A baby that possesses traits of an extrovert and introvert. The only child I have had after my first abortion. JOURNALISM!!! Quiet a stubborn child but loving. This child can be sweet and sour sometimes. There are times I wish I had a second abortion. My first unborn child, LAWYER had no father. An error I corrected before having my baby; Journalism.
Grown and matured now. Society has no or little influence on me. I’m liable for decisions and choices I make. I want to have a second child and name him LAWYER. That notwithstanding, Journalism can be put in a boarding house or stay with me and help grow his sister. There is nothing wrong in having several children. I was the only child and knew no happiness in my youthful days. Why must I subject my children to such plight?
Children are vulnerable. Very soft and easy to be broken. Share in their dream. Live in their dream and grow in that dream with them. In so doing, they will share with you the fruits of their dream.
Life is a journey. It is possible to skid off the road but be quick to fall back in your lane.
Motivation comes from within. The more you expect from others, the greater the disappointment.
I had a dream which was aborted. But it is not stopping me from dreaming. Obviously, I will give birth to a second child soon and her name will be Dr Lawyer Maame Broni. I will be so fulfilled on that day.
Author: Sandra Frimpong (Maame Broni) | Whatsapp: 0244943284 | Email: Sandra.firstname.lastname@example.org , Sandra.email@example.com | Facebook: Maame Broni Kasapa FM | Twitter: @IamMaameBroni | Instagram : @Maamebroni