Does dating feel like work to you?
If you experience dating as something uncomfortable, a means to an end, then you’re doing it wrong.
I know that’s a bold statement, so let me back it up with some bold reasoning.
We’ll start with the fact that you are at your best when you are at your happiest.
Guys are attracted to women who exude energy, playfulness, and a positive attitude.
Think about the places you have gone in an effort to meet men in the last year. Are those the places where you tend to feel most like yourself?
Do you feel happy there?
Does it draw out the best in you for others to see?
If not, you may be making the mistake of forcing yourself into someone else’s mold in order to meet the right guy.
If you are forcing yourself into someone else’s mold, the man who’s right for you will walk right past you and fail to recognize the qualities that make you his perfect match.
You may be thinking, “What’s the alternative?” If all the singles seem to congregate in loud bars, and you hate the loud noise and difficulty hearing conversation, you may force yourself to show up anyway because there are no obvious alternatives for meeting eligible men.
There are alternatives.
In fact, someone who will match well with your personality probably doesn’t like loud music either. As a result, you can bet he’s not at that bar anyway.
So keep an open mind as I suggest an alternative that is far more powerful than it appears at first glance.
Sometimes the highest quality venues for meeting men have a smaller number of men to meet. As a result, many women dismiss these venues, recognizing them as low probability venues for meeting the right guy.
There is a reason high quality venues tend to have a small number of men present. They have been self-selected. They are the few men who share a common interest with you that would serve as a natural launching point for a positive relationship (romantic or platonic).
For example, if you attend a creative writing class at a local college, you will encounter fewer men in that class than you would at one of the hot-spot bars. However, those men you do meet will have a common interest with you that serves as a natural way for both of you to initiate conversations in a non-forced way.
He is far more likely to be an intellectual, to share your love for literature, to have a similar educational level as you, and to have the kind of creativity and adventurous spirit behind the choice to pursue life to the fullest rather than trying to fit into someone else’s mold at the bar.
Let’s say none of these guys pan out. Venues that include some form of recurring interaction are the best ones for truly getting to know a person. You learn a person’s personality and you greatly increase the odds that a spark will form when feelings of familiarity build over time.
As a result, even non-romantic friendships with the right type of people have great value. Beyond the friendship itself, these men are likely to be friends with other men with similar interests, backgrounds, and qualities.
Not only do you get to be yourself when hanging around with these types of friends, you also merge your social circle with those of high quality men that share your interests. That tends to lead to introductions (friends of friends).
You just might meet your match that way.
If you’d like to learn more about the subtle tricks and techniques behind these alternative methods for meeting men, check out my presentation, What Men Secretly Want.
My presentation will take you through a brief course with more depth on how to create an irresistible attraction for the right kind of man.