Dear Future Wife,
It’s 2am here in Accra, Ghana and I’m seated at my desk in my home office behind my computer. I’ve been here for an hour already. What does that tell you? Sleep is certainly for the weak. I’m not that weak. I’m also not entirely strong either, but ………they while their companions slept, toiled up at night. I just want you to know that, I choose this path of life for a few reasons. I hope at the end of my little love note, you’ll agree with me that, you who desires to walk this path with me, are in for a journey of a lifetime. Let this inform your decision.
- I am committed to working hard and smart, to make a better future for me, you and our unborn kings and queens. With this, I stay up to add value to myself, look out for opportunities and think. I think about all the beauty I want in my life in the near future and this is the time I plan how to achieve them. So staying up at this time is my commitment to bringing us a better life; and if you choose to walk this path with me, then, please know that you will need to allow me the space to wake up and continue my routine because guess what, Rome was not built in a day. Again I say, sleep is for the weak.
- I’ve just had a cup of beverage to keep me warm through the dark cold night. That means from time to time when I’m awake at night, I will need a beverage to keep me going. Of course, I do not expect you to wake up and make me coffee/tea, but I would reasonably expect to find some beverages in the kitchen that I can make for myself. So while I worry about the big picture, I will need your help to make sure the house is a home and that there is something at least for a toiling soul in the kitchen.
- Talking about kitchen, I just noticed that my kitchen is quite untidy. Not that I leave my kitchen untidy always, but last night was hectic for me and I couldn’t bring myself to clean. While I admit that you will need help to keep the home clean, may I kindly ask that you make the kitchen your priority at least? See, nothing irks me more than walking into an untidy kitchen. Please note, that I will take out the bin every morning. But I need you to keep the kitchen clean.
- I stay up to finish contracts, write proposals, examine current projects and sometimes to read random things. I do this because I need current knowledge to stay relevant in my field of practice. You will see that I have a bookshelve that I constantly update. I also have access to digital libraries that are up to date. While I do not ask you to join in my midnight fatigue, I hope you will take advantage of these materials in your downtimes to update yourself too? There’s nothing so romantic than a well read spouse. You never know, I may sometimes need help with a contract or proposal or even editing. It will only take your versatility to do this. Make use of the resources available. Again, sleep is for the weak.
- Staying up this late means you won’t get to cuddle all the time at dawn. Please take note and adjust. You may be a touchy person, but sometimes after staying up so long to drain the brain, all I really need is a little undisturbed tranquility in order to wake up invigorated. Should I ask for that space, I hope you will respect it. After all, all this is to give us the future we both want.
- Talking about tranquility in the bedroom brings to mind the bedding space. Please note that I have a favorite place on the bed. You may or may not have a favorite spot too. I would hope that we are able to identify and negotiate those spots in the early days of marriage. When we do, please be respectful of that space wai. Romance (kikiromi) is good but sometimes, boy wants to be alone on the bed, not alone entirely. So when you notice that I’m a bit hesitant (especially after my routine midnight braindrain) please be considerate. Love is not all about cuddling.
- Do you remember that popular saying ‘all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’? Indeed, all play and no work makes Jack a lazy man. So sometimes, you will find me playing solitaire or chess or something like that online. That is only to destress when I’m tired. But I will also be joining the boys to play soccer or tennis usually on Saturday mornings and Sunday afternoons. Please factor these into your schedules. I will take you once to see where, with whom and when I play, just for your information. Don’t expect me to take you everytime and please note that, you will be my midnight nurse when I come home with those body aches and headaches. It will be nice for you to get some basic training in first aid and I’m sure you will find something to do at those times.
This note seems long, but this is only an intro to a series of notes you will be receiving from me. In the spirit of democratic relationship, feel free to respond. Only by sharing will I know what your expectations are; and if we find a midground, we can proceed to let the world know our plans.
Thank you for reading.
Your future husband – AY
Author: Anani Yao Kuwornu,